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AUTHOR OF BEYOND HAPPINESS, FEATURING THE SUSTAINABLE LIFE SATISFACTION® BRAND AND SPECIALIZING IN COGNITIVE BEHAVIOR THERAPY.

It is important to know that self-confidence and self-esteem are very similar to each other. So, when you’re doing tasks to improve your self-confidence, your self-esteem will build as well. You don’t need to engage in separate tasks to build your self-confidence and self-esteem. They can be similar tasks to organically build both at the same time.

In my practice, lack of self-confidence is a significant issue. A lot of people come to me because they have low self-confidence and are disappointed with themselves and their behavior. If a lack of self-confidence is something you struggle with, I want to give you some tasks that should help reduce your feelings of low self-confidence.

1. Complete the tasks you start.

One of the things I feel is common among most people is that they are pervasively disappointed with themselves when they don’t finish the tasks that they start in several venues of their lives. People are usually better about closing tasks at work because they feel if they don’t close the task at work, somebody is going to hold them accountable for it. However, they’re not as good at closing tasks at home, paying bills to completion, filing things or following through on things that they say they’re going to do for their children or a friend. This can cause them to feel chronically disappointed with themselves.

In order to be more effective, the first step is to understand the importance of closing the tasks that you start. One thing you can do is place reminders on your phone about what you’ve said you’re going to do and take them off the list as you complete them. Don’t dismiss the reminders on your phone until you’ve closed the task. When people think others are disappointed in them, they’re much more disappointed in themselves. Not completing tasks is one of the most common actions that can cause disappointment.

2. Make your own decisions.

The second change you can make is to start making your own decisions rather than just delegating those decisions to someone else to make. A lot of people feel guilty when they delegate their decisions. They do this because they don’t want the responsibility for a negative outcome from a decision to come back to them. When people make a decision and stand by that decision, regardless of the outcome, they have a sense of self-confidence because they learn that they can cope with whatever the outcome is.

3. Face your fears.

The third thing that can help you build self-confidence is to face your fears. It is important to do this every day. Try waking up in the morning and asking, “What fear am I going to face today?” When you do that, it helps you build a sense of competency over tasks that you didn’t think that you could do, even if it’s facing a small fear. No matter the size, facing your fears can help build your self-confidence. Each day, remind yourself to engage in all of the closing behaviors, to make your own decisions and to face your fears.

I hope these tips will help you to be more successful in building your self-confidence. If they don’t help immediately, over time you should be more successful. Practice patience when you commit to making major changes in your life because it won’t happen overnight.

Originally published on Quora.


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