6 Strategies to Improve Your Self-Worth

Loving yourself and believing in your personal worth is critical to live a fulfilling life. Self-worth affects how we approach relationships, completing tasks, addressing challenges, as well as for our overall mental health. Self-worth is different than self-esteem. Self-esteem is dependent on external indicators of success. Self-worth comes from within. With self-worth comes an intrinsic sense of value that creates a foundation from which to flourish.

In the 1960s, Aaron Beck developed the concept of a core belief system that would eventually become a part of his work on cognitive behavior therapy. He believed that a sense of one’s worth starts developing early. As children, we internalize a core belief system about ourselves that becomes central to our overall life satisfaction, how we interact with the world, and our mental health (Medical News Today, 2022). Core beliefs can be statements such as “I’m not good enough” or “I’m lazy.” The damaging nature of a belief system built on thoughts like these can hold consequences in multiple areas of your life. Recognizing this can inspire hope for change yielding greater self-love.

Here are six strategies to help improve your sense of self-worth:

1. Know Your Strengths

Take some time to evaluate what you enjoy doing. Then intentionally and meaningfully give yourself the space to engage in that activity and acknowledge your value. This may be a strength at work or outside of work. If at work it’s networking, validate that; if outside of work it’s ceramics, do the same. Always be vigilant and mindful of the value you bring.

2. Reward Yourself

When you’ve completed a task you set out to do either at work or outside of work, reinforce yourself for a job well done. By not waiting for the outside world to praise your accomplishment, you are demonstrating to yourself that you are aware of your personal worth. Reinforce yourself by writing affirmations or by celebrating yourself with small, meaningful treats.

3. Passion for Compassion

Your brain is always listening. If you talk to yourself in a critical and demeaning way, your brain sees you in that light. Pay attention to how you’re talking to yourself. Would you talk that way to your friend, your neighbor, a child? If not, how can you talk to yourself with more grace? Be encouraging of yourself. Instead of furthering the critical voice in your head, challenge it by being supportive and caring. Instead of saying “that was so stupid,” or “why did I do that?” try “I did my best” or “I tried hard.”

4. Steer Clear of Rigid Thinking

We live in a gray world, not one that is binary. Avoid using words like “should” or “must” that imply there’s only one way of doing something. The options are far too varied to box yourself into such an absolutist space. Practice forgiving yourself if things don’t go as you had planned. By being gentler with yourself, you demonstrate that you are worthy of kindness.

Practice using positive self-talk to balance any negative core beliefs you have. Be mindful of your thinking so you can identify your thoughts in order to deconstruct them. The idea is to balance a critical thought with a statement that is either more neutral or positive. For example: Instead of “I can’t do this,” it could be “this is a challenge, but I can overcome it,” and instead of “I’m lazy,” it could be “everyone has lazy days sometimes, I’m allowed a lazy day.”

5. Neutral Does Not Mean Confirmation

As mammals our brains are attuned to look for danger and as such are more aware of negative feedback than positive. Armed with this knowledge, be cautious to not only look for feedback that confirms your negative core belief. Instead, be on the lookout for statements and behaviors of others that counter your core belief. This may be hard in the beginning but gets easier with practice. To be even harder on ourselves, we often take neutral comments and put them in the negative/confirmation column. Try to remember that neutral statements aren’t negative. Neutral is just neutral. You will likely be surprised how little confirmation you actually receive of your core belief. This will help you build your sense of worth.

6. Main Character or Supporting Character?

Are you the main character in your life? With a sense of self-worth comes the recognition that we should be a main character in the story of our lives. It’s important to evaluate your life to make sure you’re not putting everyone else’s needs/dreams ahead of your own the majority of the time. When you put yourself behind others, you diminish your worth; when you maintain the main role, you remind your brain that you believe in your inherent value and worth.

Developing a belief in your self-worth can be overwhelming, particularly when a core belief system to the contrary has been instilled in you since you were a child. However, applying these strategies as a daily practice can start breaking down the barriers that are holding you back from recognizing that you are valuable, you are worthy. You can do it.